We find it easier to focus on our mistakes or bad experiences than the good things about us and positive experiences. Psychologists refer to this as Negativity Bias. The negativity bias is our tendency to attend to and learn from negative experiences more than the positive. Even the most insignificant ones.
When a tiny negative thing happens to us in between a lot of positive ones, we stress out, react and it sticks to our brain making it all we can think about. This then continues until the brain spots another negative event.
Remember from this article about the brain we talked about how patterns become behavior? This is exactly what is happening here. As a result, we are influenced by how we think, feel and act which inturn affects behavior, actions and even relationships.
Trauma Makes this Worse
Trauma robs us of the ability to be kind and gentle with ourselves, to meet us halfway, with compassion. It diminishes any opportunity to have a relationship with ourselves. When our body and brain experience trauma, we learn to set up walls as a protective mechanism to not have such an experience again. We learn how to live by constantly being on the look-out for danger.
How can we “fix this”?
We no longer need to be on constant alert in order to survive like our ancestors did. There are now less threats that would often put us in situations of life and death.
“Fight your brain’s negativity bias by appreciating and lingering on the tiny, positive moments you experience day – to – day” Hason, Rick (2013).
Constant sadness, insecurity, anger and bitterness and other negative emotions are examples of what negativity bias can result in. Regardless, we can gradually rewire the brain to focus more on positive events by:
- Moving from negative self talk to self compassion – we talk more about this in the upcoming newsletter. You can sign up here
- Reframing negative situations to positive
- Establishing new patterns
- Savor positive moments – think of your glimmers and hang on to them. We wrote about glimmers and how to savor them in a previous newsletter, you can register here to not miss the next ones.
Whichever method you choose to counteract focusing on negative events, remember that the goal is to keep the brain focused on positive events in our lives and surrounding us.
NB: If you are feeling chronic, strong negative emotions, it is advised you speak to a trained professional that can further help you address the situation.
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